128: Changing Your Thoughts From the Inside Out
Hey friends, I want to let you know about a few things I’m doing to support you. First, I giving you access to free weekly workshops surrounding topics of grief and child loss to help you navigate this lonely and painful journey. You can find this week's topic and register for the workshop at www.meganhillukka.com/workshop
I also want to ask you to leave a review for Grieving Moms Podcast, wherever you listen to your podcast, and if you email me a picture of your review to hello@meganhillukka.com you will be entered into a drawing for a $100 amazon gift card. Every 50 reviews I will draw a winner. So, if this podcast has helped you, please go right now and leave a review. This is a way you can help me out as the creator of this podcast and get this message to other moms who need it as well.
Ok, so let’s dive into this week’s topic. I have often taught to notice your thoughts, how your thoughts create your feelings and how as you notice what you are thinking in your mind and pay attention to the thoughts in your head, you get so much freedom and power back in your life to choose your thinking on purpose rather than be a the affect of what’s going on in your mind without you even noticing.
But here’s something else I’ve been leaning into and experiencing too. So you have a thought, it makes you feel a certain way right? Like it was all my fault and I’m the reason my child died. This kind of thought brings up horrific guilt. And then a different thought like I did everything I could for my child, and there wasn’t anything I could have done to change what happened. This kind of thought brings sadness and pain but not guilt.
The thing is- you might not believe it. You might not believe that this is possible. It feels like such a jump to go from one to the other, and that’s where you can utilize stepping stone thoughts like changing it just small enough that you can believe it. I’m not going to go into that today, because that’s not what this episode is about, but I just wanted to offer another perspective. I still think this is powerful and an important way to support yourself in your grief, noticing your thoughts.
But when something feels so heavy and your thoughts are so deep in it and you can’t get out of it, it feels impossible to change your thoughts, then you can change your state of being, or the energy inside of you.
Sometimes your thoughts lead to the emotion you feel, but you can also work it backwards, where you get in a more positive energetic state and that seems to attract thoughts that are lighter and positive.
For example, I do a gratitude meditation inside of Grieving Moms Haven, and in this, as you begin to feel gratitude in your body or a lightness, all sudden things feel more possible. Like you are going to be okay, and it’s possible. It doesn’t remove the grief or make it suddenly all better, but it gives you a little break from the heaviness of grief and the knowledge to know that it’s possible to feel lightness in your body again.
Quite honestly, this meditation, or any lighter meditations I’ve done with the moms inside of Grieving Moms Haven, this has been the first time they’ve felt something other than horrific pain and grief and it’s a wonderful feeling to know that it’s possible to have that experience inside of your body again.
So- change your state of being inside, not with your thoughts, but with the energy inside of your body, and begin to notice what thoughts seem more available to you when you are in a higher vibrational state in your body.
How can you change your state of being inside? I do a few different ways inside of Grieving Moms Haven- one example being Grief in Your Body Guided Meditation, Gratitude Meditation, or breath work.
Other ways include tapping, moving your body, changing your location, getting outside, getting in some sunshine, singing, taking a shower, really anything that takes you out of what you are in now, to a different state of being.
Those are just a few examples.
I hope you will give this a chance and try it. Remember even though I often talk about how important it is to feel and sit in grief, it’s okay to take breaks and give yourself space to breathe for a second too. It’s ok to feel lightness in your body, because that gives you strength and energy to keep going and feeling the grief and pain.
So much love to you my friends, remember to check out my free weekly workshops where I share and teach about a variety of topics including navigating difficult emotions of grief, caring for yourself in grief, anxiety and grief. Go to www.meganhillukka.com/workshop to see what topic is there this week!
See you next week!
If you like this podcast, and found it helpful, I want to invite you come check out Grieving Moms Haven, my monthly community for Grieving moms, where you can learn positive coping mechanisms, find a safe space with others who understand, and learn life long skills that support you as you learn how to carry this weight of grief in your life.
There are group coaching calls where we do guided meditations, tapping meditations, breathwork, and just talk, knowing that everyone in the group is also walking the path of child loss
You can come check out Grieving Moms Haven at www.grievingmomshaven.com
