276: Memories

Today, I have interesting thoughts to share with you, and we're going to talk about memories. Before I dive into talking about memories, I thought I would read a mom's experience each week of the moms that I'm working with right now about anxiety and their experience of RRT. I just really want you to know that if you're experiencing anxiety, this is such an amazing way to navigate trauma and anxiety. Here's one mom’s experience.

She says, “I requested an RRT session with Megan to clear anxiety and negative connotations with the word that I associate with several traumatic events in my life. Previously, I avoided saying the word and spent lots of energy trying to detach myself from it. It was a mental workout for such a simple word. Since my session, the word slides into conversation easily, and I don't get panicky anymore. More often, I catch myself afterward thinking, Wow, I just said it. To think that one hour of RRT eliminated probably hours of anxiety. While I don't spend much time in regret, doing the session sooner would have been even better. The RRT session is the most light, expansive, and creative form of therapy I've ever experienced. It uses powerful symbolism to retrain nonproductive brain pathways to heal trauma and triggers. Instead of spending time recalling or analyzing painful pasts, it's more about understanding how your brain works on default and training it to work more in your favor. It's like debugging a computer, if you will. I would recommend this form of therapy to anyone frustrated with pieces of their past and wanting to feel lightness and hope instead.”

Isn't that amazing? I am just continually amazed at how quick and awesome RRT is. And I'm so excited that I get to do this for others and help them in this way. It's really fun! If you want a session, I offer a package of two sessions that I guarantee will make a difference in the anxiety or trauma in those two sessions, or I will refund you. It's easy if you're experiencing anxiety or trauma because there's no risk for you in that, and if you want to learn more, go to meganhillukka.com/beanxietyfree.

Today's topic kind of relates to what this mom was talking about and her experience. But let's talk about memories.

Have you ever heard of someone who didn't remember something until they were older? and maybe they weren't aware of it before? and maybe it was kind of blocked out in their minds, but now they are. This memory suddenly causes them so much pain in their lives, and the fact that this happened to them.

I want to share some thoughts about memories and how I view them. From what I've learned from a few different ways and things, there's a part of the book by Dr. Peter Levine called Waking the Tiger. That talks about this little girl's memory—she shared a story that did not make any sense at all. The way she shared the memory, or how it was pieced together, made it impossible. That was how it happened. It wasn't saying that this little girl's memory was wrong and that none of these things happened to her. Pieces of it could be true, and maybe all the pieces are true, but the timeline and such didn't make any sense. Something she talks about in this book is the memory itself. It doesn't really matter what is remembered that can be cleared, and it doesn't really matter if it's true or not.

I remember that after Aria died, I became obsessed with the facts and the timeline. Like, what actually happened? When and how did my memory get distorted? Then I wanted to know—hey, this is what I remembered—and then I'd go look at the police report. I was like, What in the world? That's not how I remembered it. I don't even remember that person being there and all these things; my memory was so different from what the facts were from a police report.

I realized that it doesn't really matter what happened. It's what I remember and how that's affecting me. Dealing with that is the thing. Memories can be very sticky because, probably, most of you have traumatic memories that you don't want to remember. But maybe they keep popping up in your mind. Maybe you have memories that, when you think of them, bring up a ton of emotion.

Now, with our RRT, let's talk about this perspective. I've learned a different perspective that is pretty life-changing to me. This way of thinking makes me very unafraid of things happening in my future or my kid’s future. I'm not saying that I won't ever be fearful. Obviously, life has difficult things, but this gives me so much more comfort knowing that there are tools and things that I really see make a difference. If something bad were to happen to me or my kids, we have a useful tool that can quickly help with something.

I know there are different types of therapies, healings, or whatever that try to dig up memories, try to remember memories, and maybe even try to make meaning of things.

We do a scan for memories that are ready to be cleared. To use that energy towards what we're working towards. I know that might sound confusing. One thing I did share with this mom was that: whether you remember the memory or not, whether you're conscious of it, if it's there, and even if it's in the unconscious, it's like an energy drain in the background of your mind. It's draining energy from you because the mind is reading that event as happening.

With RRT, you don't have to go through and remember each memory or relive anything at all. Once you clear one memory, it automatically happens for other memories. Memory is just a very interesting thing because if you remember something, it doesn't necessarily mean it happened, that it's a fact, or that it was exactly. How it happened can create memories or images of something that never happened at all.

It really doesn't matter either way because if your mind is reading it as a memory, especially if it's reading it as a traumatic or disturbing experience, that still affects you today. It doesn't really matter if it was real or imagined, because if the mind is reading it as if it were real, then the mind is reading it as if it really did happen.

If you have siblings, you can find this to be true. Like when you start to discuss memories from childhood, it's so interesting how you can remember things very similarly but also so differently from my sister, whom I grew up with. There are so many times we just don't remember the same things, and the things that I thought happened didn't happen. We just have such different perspectives, even though we grew up in the same exact household with the same things. We just have different memories.

I want to offer you a slightly different perspective in a way that I believe makes this a whole lot lighter and a whole lot easier to deal with. If you have a memory that's a very difficult one or a traumatic one, I'm not at all dismissing what you've been through. I just want to say that first and most of the time, in order to heal it in traditional ways, you would have to go relive the memories. Look at why that happened and all the things, and this memory might feel huge or daunting, and maybe you'll never be able to heal from it, and it will continue to affect you in a huge and negative way your whole life.

If a memory is difficult to talk about, share, or think about, this means that this memory is not fully processed.

Here's why RRT is so special: it doesn't matter what the memory is. It could be something terrible, or it could be something minor. But if we're thinking of it, all of it is stuffed with data, and we can clear that data so it gets fully processed. So then it can go poop right into the memory bank, and then the mind can, like, fully get it. I fully understand that it's no longer happening.

Do you want to know what that gives you? It gives you peace.

This is why it is happening without your consent. It is happening without your control. It's the part of the mind that you can't control. It's a part of your mind that's in control of your heartbeat. You can't control your heartbeat. It's a part of the mind that's in control of your circulation and your digestion, and you can't control that. It's the same thing; the mind is trying to protect you because it thinks this is happening again.

Here's where I see this as a huge freedom and a beautiful thing when we're looking at memories this way. And from this perspective, it doesn't matter what the thing is. We're just thinking of it as data or information that got stuck in our minds.

It's the same thing as clearing the stuck data, and here's why I think of that as a relief. because, in most ways of thinking, the bigger the trauma, the more it would take years of effort and work to clear and deal with it. and so much pain to relieve and go through all of that. This way of thinking that I'm sharing is very simplistic; it's just stuff that can easily be cleared, so mine can read it as no longer happening.

We've been talking about memories, and often we think about memories as being from the past, but when memory isn't being put into the memory box, or, I should say, experience isn't being put into the memory box and is fully integrated into the past and processed, this means the memory being read in the mind is happening now. and this could mean it's about to happen again. It's happening again, or it just happened again.

It's like you can recall a memory, and it doesn't bring up much negative emotion at all, or maybe no emotion at all. You can just recall that this thing happened, and you can very clearly see that it's not happening right now. It's clear to you, and it's clear to your mind, that this event is no longer happening.

There you have it—my perspective and thoughts on memory and reliving memories. I really hope that this was useful for you today. I hope it was a different perspective and a different way of thinking that was beneficial for you. If you want to stop reliving horrific memories, get your mind to fully understand that those are in the past, and deal with the anxiety that comes with all of that, come check out my page at meganhillukka.com/beanxietyfree and I can help you with this. It's a whole lot simpler, easier, and lighter than you've probably ever experienced.

See you next week!