333: Motherhood Does Not Equal Anxiety

333: Motherhood Does Not Equal Anxiety

Megan Hillukka

333: Motherhood Does Not Equal Anxiety

Welcome to the Joyful Mom Podcast!

When you became a mom, did you wonder what happened to you? The playful, joyful, carefree person you used to be before motherhood?

Maybe you had anxiety and fears before becoming a mom, but many women find that motherhood magnifies them. It brings new triggers, new fears, and for some, it changes them into someone they never thought they’d be—someone who is always anxious about the future, constantly stressed and worried, angry all the time, snapping at everyone they love. Someone so busy and focused on getting things done that they can’t even enjoy life anymore.

Does this sound like you?

If so, you might have the belief that anxiety is just part of motherhood. That it’s normal. That it’s just something moms have to live with.

I thought this, too.

The first time I ever experienced anxiety was after my third child was born. I had no clue what was happening to me. I even told my husband that he might have to check me into a mental hospital because I thought I was losing my mind. But then I talked with some other moms, and they said, "Oh, that’s just anxiety. I got it after my third baby, too. It’s completely normal."

And in that moment, I felt relieved. But looking back, I realize that moment was also a huge turning point in my life.

Because I accepted it.

I accepted that anxiety was now a part of my life. I accepted that this is what moms do—they live with anxiety. They carry the weight of worry. They wake up with a racing heart, they overthink every decision, they fear the worst.

But what if that’s not actually true?

Challenging the Belief That Anxiety Is Normal in Motherhood

Just because something is common doesn’t mean it’s normal.

If we started seeing half of all moms walking around with a broken leg, we wouldn’t say, “Oh, that’s just motherhood. It’s normal.” We’d ask, “Why is this happening? And how do we fix it?”

Anxiety is the same way. It’s a sign that something deeper is going on, not something that you’re just meant to endure.

Imagine if someone told you that motherhood required you to carry a 50-pound backpack at all times. You’d assume it’s just part of the job, and over time, your back would start to ache, your body would feel exhausted, and you’d wonder why motherhood felt so heavy.

But then, one day, someone shows you how to take the backpack off. And you realize—you were never meant to carry that weight in the first place.

That’s exactly what happened when I healed my anxiety.

Motherhood didn’t change. My responsibilities didn’t go away. But suddenly, I wasn’t carrying the weight of anxiety anymore. And I was able to show up as a mom with more patience, more presence, and more joy.

The Fear of Letting Go of Anxiety

I know that for some of you, the idea of not being anxious actually feels scary.

Some moms have told me, “But if I don’t feel anxious, I’ll get too relaxed. I’ll make mistakes. I won’t be as good of a mom.”

But that’s like saying, “If I don’t have a fire alarm blaring in my house 24/7, I might not notice if there’s a fire.” No—constant alarm bells don’t make you more aware. They just keep you in a state of stress.

You don’t need anxiety to be alert, present, or a good mother. In fact, you’ll actually be a better mother without it.

Because when you’re not stuck in anxiety, you can think clearly. You can respond rather than react. You can trust yourself. And you can actually enjoy motherhood instead of just surviving it.

Anxiety Steals the Joy You Were Meant to Have

I don’t believe God intended for moms to live in a constant state of fear, stress, and worry.

I believe that motherhood is meant to be filled with joy. That our children are meant to feel our peace. That our homes are meant to be places of light, not tension.

Anxiety steals from that. It takes away the ability to be fully present. It makes us believe we have to live in fear to be good moms.

But that’s not true.

You can be free from anxiety. You can be fully present with your kids. You can enjoy motherhood.

You just have to be willing to take off the backpack.

So, are you ready to put it down?

If you want to learn more about how you can eliminate the anxiety from your life, so you can have the most joy in motherhood you possibly can- go to my instagram megan_hillukka, and you can find the link to watch a completely free training my profile, or you can click on the show notes and find it here! In this free training, you will learn the exact blueprint you need in order to finally break free of the anxiety. Because friend, you deserve a beautiful and joyful motherhood- and so does your family.

If you want to learn more about how you can clear anxiety more automatically by rewiring how the mind is working and processing things, go to my website www.meganhillukka.com where you can click on a link to register for my free training, where I will show you what you need in order to do this.

332: Living With a Spouse With Trauma and Anxiety

332: Living With a Spouse With Trauma and Anxiety

Megan Hillukka

332: Living With a Spouse With Trauma and Anxiety

Welcome to the Joyful Mom Podcast!

This podcast episode explores the deeply personal and emotional journey of a couple navigating the impact of severe anxiety and trauma following the tragic loss of their daughter, Aria, in 2016. The host, Megan, invites her husband, Justin, to share his perspective on how their relationship and family life changed due to her struggles with anxiety. Justin reflects on how Megan transformed from a carefree, joyful person into someone consumed by fear and stress, making everyday life—like driving home at night or getting out of bed in the morning—immensely challenging. He candidly discusses how the shift in her mental state affected their marriage, often leaving him feeling like he was living with a different person than the woman he married.

Throughout the conversation, they highlight specific instances where Megan’s anxiety disrupted their daily lives, including constant nighttime checks on their children and an inability to travel or function normally. Justin also recalls a difficult moment when he admitted he wasn’t sure if he still loved her, underscoring the strain their relationship endured. Despite the hardships, both emphasize the importance of acknowledging the toll trauma takes on loved ones and the resilience required to navigate such challenges. Their discussion offers a raw and honest look at the complexities of living with anxiety while striving to maintain a strong marriage and family unit.

After experiencing profound grief and anxiety following their daughter Aria’s passing, Megan reflects on how much her emotional state has transformed and how that shift has positively impacted her family. She and Justin discuss how she was once overwhelmed by constant fear, leading to heightened reactivity, prolonged conflicts, and a tense household atmosphere. Now, however, Megan feels deeply healed, allowing her to process emotions more effectively, navigate challenges with greater resilience, and foster a more peaceful, connected home life. Justin shares how this change has made a significant difference for him as a husband—he no longer feels like he’s walking on eggshells and instead enjoys a more stable and loving partnership.

The conversation also touches on their current challenge—Justin unexpectedly losing his job just weeks before the birth of their next child. Despite the uncertainty, Megan’s healing allows her to approach the situation with clarity and confidence rather than panic. Instead of spiraling into fear, they are able to focus on problem-solving and embracing potential new opportunities. Justin acknowledges Megan’s immense personal growth and her dedication to helping others overcome anxiety and trauma, emphasizing how her transformation has not only changed her life but has also profoundly improved their family’s well-being.

If you want to learn more about how you can clear anxiety more automatically by rewiring how the mind is working and processing things, go to my website www.meganhillukka.com where you can click on a link to register for my free training, where I will show you what you need in order to do this.

331: A Look Inside Clear Mind Society (Live Call)

331: A Look Inside Clear Mind Society (Live Call)

Megan Hillukka

331: A Look Inside Clear Mind Society (Live Call)

Welcome to the Joyful Mom Podcast!

This episode of The Joyful Mom Podcast offers a behind-the-scenes look at ClearMind Society, a space designed for mental clarity and emotional healing. Host Megan introduces the episode as an opportunity for listeners to experience the kind of support and transformation that takes place in the community. The session begins with a guided body-awareness meditation, encouraging participants to notice sensations, tension, and relaxation throughout their bodies. This practice sets the stage for deeper introspection and healing.

Following the meditation, the conversation shifts to personal struggles, particularly around trauma and emotional processing. One participant shares her recent experience with a car accident, describing the lingering physical and emotional effects, including heightened anxiety and fear while driving. Megan provides guidance on retraining the mind to recognize that the traumatic event is over, using affirmations and bodywork to ease the subconscious response. She reassures the participant that such reactions are normal and that healing is a gradual process.

Another participant discusses her complicated relationship with food, shaped by past nutritional guidance that has led to anxiety and restriction. She describes feelings of guilt and stress surrounding meal choices, particularly with certain foods like burritos and processed ingredients. Megan encourages her to shift her focus from rigid rules to nourishing her body without stress, emphasizing the importance of reducing anxiety around eating rather than adhering to strict dietary expectations.

Overall, the episode highlights the power of guided meditation, community support, and mindful self-awareness in overcoming emotional and physical challenges. Megan provides practical tools to help participants reframe their thoughts and find balance, demonstrating the kind of personal growth and healing that ClearMind Society fosters.

If you want to learn more about how you can clear anxiety more automatically by rewiring how the mind is working and processing things, go to my website www.meganhillukka.com where you can click on a link to register for my free training, where I will show you what you need in order to do this.

330: Why Health Anxiety Feels Impossible to Shake (And What Actually Works)

330: Why Health Anxiety Feels Impossible to Shake (And What Actually Works)

Megan Hillukka

330: Why Health Anxiety Feels Impossible to Shake (And What Actually Works)

Welcome to the Joyful Mom Podcast!

I remember talking to a mom who told me she felt like she was barely living because of her health anxiety. She said, “Megan, every single day, I wake up already bracing for something to go wrong with my body. A weird sensation, a pain in my chest, a tingling in my arm—it doesn’t matter how small it is, my brain instantly jumps to What if this is serious? What if I die?".

She had seen doctors. She had done all the tests. Everyone told her she was fine, but she didn’t feel fine. She couldn’t relax. She felt like she was constantly searching for reassurance, yet nothing ever fully calmed the fear.

If you relate to this, you are not alone. And today, I want to help you understand why this is happening and how to break free from it. In this episode, I’ll show you why health anxiety isn’t actually about your health—and why the only way to truly eliminate it is by rewiring your subconscious mind. And if you want to take this deeper, I have a free training where I walk you through the exact blueprint to eliminate health anxiety for good—so you don’t just manage it, you heal it at the root level.

A lot of people after COVID have experienced health anxiety or worries. I’ve worked with many people who now have Fears about sickness, fears about dying, fears about health in general. And if you’ve ever had a health scare where something was wrong, and you have some trauma from that, or you have experienced a health scare where you thought something was wrong and it turned out fine, and yet you’re not anxious about any symptom that pops up, this is going to be useful for you.

“Healing health anxiety at the root level through subconscious reprogramming is the best and fastest way to eliminate it.”

This is where I want to invite you to consider something that might shift the way you see your anxiety:

What if your health anxiety isn’t about your body at all? What if it’s actually about your brain’s wiring? What if the constant scanning, the worry, the urge to check symptoms—it’s all happening because your brain is stuck in a fear loop, trying to ‘protect’ you, but it’s doing it in a way that’s making you feel unsafe all the time?

If your subconscious mind believes your body is in constant danger, then no amount of logic, reassurance, or even medical tests will ever be enough—because your brain is the one that needs healing, not your body.

Think of it this way. That if you’ve had a health scare, or even a health trauma, your subconscoius mind has now catergorized health/sickness as threat or danger. That if you don’t pay attention to this thing you are absolutely going to die. And so yes, of course you have been googling symptoms. Of course you’ve been rushing to the doctor. Because you mind and body is literally in a state where it believes that if you don’t take action you are going to die. It’s a survival mechanism. There’s not something wrong with you because you can’t relax about it or not worry about it. It’s literally built that way, and until you fix this issue within the system, and get the subconscious mind to understand that every symptom is not life threatening, and your mind is clear of the past trauma data so it can see more clearly what is actually something you need to take care of versus something every symptom that pops up.

Health anxiety is a false alarm system

Imagine you had a smoke alarm in your house that went off constantly—even when there was no fire. Every time you burned toast, every time you took a hot shower, it blared as if your house was in flames. That’s what health anxiety does to your brain. Your body is fine, but your nervous system is reacting as if it’s in immediate danger. And the more you listen to it, the more your brain believes that something really is wrong.

Why logic and reassurance don’t work

You’ve probably tried everything to calm your fears—doctor visits, tests, asking your partner, ‘Are you sure I’m okay?’ Googling symptoms late at night. And maybe, for a moment, you feel better. But then a new symptom shows up, and you’re right back in the fear cycle." This feeds the loop of anxiety and danger. When you follow that push of anxiety, checking symptoms, when you continue to do these things, you reinforce the subconscious mind belief that that a symptom is life threatening or you need to do something about every pain in the body.

That’s because health anxiety isn’t a rational problem—it’s a subconscious one. Your brain isn’t using logic to decide if you’re okay. It’s running a fear pattern that keeps playing over and over until you change it at the root level.

How subconscious reprogramming stops the cycle

Think of your subconscious mind like a software program. If your mind has been programmed to associate normal bodily sensations with danger, then it will keep running that same fear cycle on autopilot—until you rewire it.

And the good news? That’s exactly what we do inside my free training. I’ll show you how to shift the way your subconscious perceives safety, so your brain can finally relax, and your body can stop feeling like a ticking time bomb.

If you are living with health anxiety, know this- that there is a reason it’s happening to you. And it’s not because you are broken, but simply because your subconscious mind is misreading data and causing alarms to go off when they don’t need to. No amount of trying to cover up the alarm will help, you have to stop the alarm from going off in the first place!

If you want to learn more about how you can clear anxiety more automatically by rewiring how the mind is working and processing things, go to my website www.meganhillukka.com where you can click on a link to register for my free training, where I will show you what you need in order to do this.

329: The Power of Micro Habits with Renee Bellinger

329: The Power of Micro Habits with Renee Bellinger

Megan Hillukka

329: The Power of Micro Habits with Renee Bellinger

Welcome to the Joyful Mom Podcast!

Renee Bellinger, a women's health and nutrition coach, shares her personal journey of transforming her health by focusing on tiny actions and behavior change. With a background in counseling psychology, Renee helps women prioritize their health and create lasting habits. She emphasizes the importance of understanding behavior change and how it can be applied to health and nutrition.

She explains that behavior change is about analyzing and shifting small things in one's environment or personal habits to achieve a larger goal. She stresses that tiny actions, rather than grand overhauls, are more effective in creating lasting change. By focusing on one small change at a time, individuals can build self-trust and develop new habits that become part of their identity.

Renee shares her own experience of hiring a nutrition coach and focusing on adding more protein to her diet, which led to significant improvements in her overall health. She emphasizes the importance of specificity and simplicity in making changes, allowing the brain to focus on one thing at a time. By celebrating small wins and normalizing new habits, individuals can rewire their brains and develop a new sense of identity.

The conversation touches on the topic of perimenopause and menopause, with Renee sharing her personal experience of navigating this stage of life. She highlights the importance of education and advocacy for women during this transition, emphasizing the need for a holistic approach that addresses nutrition, exercise, sleep, and stress management. By focusing on tiny actions and behavior change, women can take control of their health and thrive during this stage of life.

Ready to transform your health and wellness?

Follow Coach Renee Bellinger on Instagram, Facebook, and her official website for expert tips, guidance, and support on your journey to a healthier, happier you!

If you want to learn more about how you can clear anxiety more automatically by rewiring how the mind is working and processing things, go to my website www.meganhillukka.com where you can click on a link to register for my free training, where I will show you what you need in order to do this.

328: 5 Reasons Why I Homeschool My Kids

328: 5 Reasons Why I Homeschool My Kids

Megan Hillukka

328: 5 Reasons Why I Homeschool My Kids

Welcome to the Joyful Mom Podcast!

I have homeschooled our kids from the very beginning. I remember in the beginning I was still unsure of what to do. I was going to send them to a charter school when my oldest was kindergarten age but it was a lottery system and he didn’t get in right away, and then after I already made the decision to homeschool him, he did get in to the charter school but I decided to pass on it, and just go with homeschooling. I’m really thankful I did, because that was the same year that Aria died, like she died in May and then he would have gone to school in September, and actually now that I’m thinking about it- I’m not sure that’s right…anyways Aria died before he went to school, and then having him home I really liked instead of going to school. I just think it’s so valuable for kids to be able to play and process- and he got the freedom to play and play and play so he could process all the things that were happening and that happened.

Anyways, I wanted to share my experience of why I homeschool. I’ve now had a few experiences where I have sent my kids to school, and it has reinforced for me that I am a homeschool mom through and through. When we moved into a townhouse for a year with no year and we had 5 kids, I didn’t want to live a winter in MN with 5 kids inside all day, so we sent our kids to kindergarten and 2nd grade. I did not love it. But the interesting thing for me, is that it helped show me why I homeschool, and what I love about homeschooling.

And then this past year, my kids are enrolled in an online program through a public school- it’s supposed to be like flexible homeschooling, and for some people who are used to the school system and how things work there, it's probably a really great option. For me, it’s not been great at all, and I cannot wait to be done with it. We are finishing the year out, but I’m going back to homeschooling the way I do next year!

Again, like my home birth podcast episode, this episode is not to say one way is better than the other. I can have my opinion and experiences, and at the same time, I have many friends who love that they can send their kids to school and it works for their family. So that’s not what this is all about- it’s just more about why I homeschool, and if you’ve been considering homeschooling this may be helpful.

I also want to note, I have an incredible amount of people in my life who homeschool. 5 out of 6 in my family homeschool, and a few in my husband's family, along with many friends and a homeschool group I’m part of of ladies from my church. So homeschooling is very normal nowadays where I live, I have no idea what it’s like anywhere else, but I did have one time where I was out and about with a kid and someone asked about them being in school, and we never get asked that question. I remember when I was little if you skipped school and went to the grocery store everyone would be asking why are you not in school? Now it’s more normal to be homeschooled so if you see a kid out and about it doesn’t always mean they are skipping school.

Okay, I’m going to share 5 reasons why I love homeschooling and why I am a homeschool mom at heart.

1. I want my kids home. I love having my kids home. We have a big family, a lot of chaos, but I absolutely love having my kids home. I couldn't imagine sending my kids away every single day where they are gone for hours and hours a day. Now in September when all the kids are going to school, it can sound nice for a moment to have a quieter house and just have my babies at home with me, but the reality is, I don’t want that. And for me, just having my babies at home is actually not easier for me.

   When all my kids are home, there are playmates, there are people to help out, there are people who play with the babies. When I’m home with the babies by myself I have to clean everything, my babies follow me around wanting me to sit down and hold them. Every time I turn around they are right behind me, climbing on cupboards..but if my kids are home and it’s supper and my babies are doing that, I can say, hey go play with them in the playroom, and then I can get my stuff done.

   It’s so much easier for me to have my kids home. And I just love the connection. The conversations we can have throughout the day. The time we get. There have been moments where I’ve just marveled on a random Tuesday morning, and I’m chilling in the living room with all our kids, that we just get to be here together. We don’t have to race out the door, there’s no stressful schedules, we just get to be together, start our day when we want, do school our way, and it’s the best. I love it. Now- I don’t love it every day, but do we always love everything every day. No. I love that my kids don’t have to get up and race out the door every day. We have more time with them. I remember when they went to school for that year, how little time Justin got with the kids. They would come home from school, and I didn’t want to give them any jobs to do, because they were stuck inside all day at school and I wanted them to go play outside, and then they saw Justin for like an hour or less before they needed to go to bed so they could get up in the morning. I didn’t like that. I can’t say currently he sees the kids a ton more in our life situation, but when he does come home early, they are there.
   

2. I don’t like other people telling me what to do. This one is more of my rebellious nature. I don’t like someone else telling me when I have to be somewhere, what I have to do, how I have to show up etc. When my kids went to school, I didn’t like that they had to be on the bus at a certain time each day, and that they come home so late. I want to take vacation when we want to take vacation, not when school is out, or around the school schedule. Do you know how emptier the beaches in Florida are in February than at Christmas break or spring break? They are way nicer! I will never plan a trip to Florida around that time. When we lived in Florida on our bus, we were going to the beach every day, and then one day I went to the beach and I was like what in the world?!? Why is it crazy here? And then I realized oh- it’s christmas break! That’s why! Then I just waited a bit to go back. Because I like it when it’s not so busy. So, being able to create my own schedule, my own way of doing things, we don’t get up early in the morning. I Don’t have a start time for my kids. Mornings are slow around our house. They are not rushed and chaotic and I love it.
   

3. When we homeschool we can learn more about our kids interests and desires, and for me homeschooling is all about the love of learning. Of course I want my kids to know the basics and they will, but then we have time to fuel their interests and do crafts or hobbies that they are interested in. Learning how to learn is one of the most useful skills I think anyone can have. If you know how to learn then you can do anything. Maybe some of you are thinking well we learn how to learn, but I do think that traditional school can squash, doesn’t mean it always does, but it can squash the love of learning for learning's sake rather than focusing on a test score, or a grade. I don’t really care about grades at all. I just want to see my kids learning. And I remember having a conversation with someone about something they wanted to learn to do, but they were completely stuck in the overwhelm of they don’t know how to do it. But when you learn how to learn, you know that that is a completely normal part of learning and the process, it doesn’t mean you can’t learn, it just means you need to get started. So- I tend to lean more towards learning some of the basics but then unschooling with everything else.  I’ve noticed for the first time doing this online school thing this past year, my kids have been complaining about school saying they hate school. And they have never said anything of the sort when we are homeschooling, because it doesn’t feel like school- it’s interesting, it’s fun, and we learn as we do life.

4. I have a different approach to learning like I said, and I like that i can be flexible when I’m at home. I do not think kids need to know how to read at 5 or 6, and I don’t push my kids to. If they aren’t ready, we just wait a bit. One of my kids completely taught themselves, and one is still learning. And school would say they are way behind and they need to get caught up. But I don’t agree. In fact, the kindergarten teacher was sending me emails about my kindergartener not knowing how to read yet- and frankly I don’t care. I don't think he needs to know how yet. When we are home, we don’t have many kids we are trying to move at once, we can just go with the level that each kid is at rather than telling them they are behind and they aren’t doing good enough.
   
   Another piece of this life is learning. Taking care of a house is learning. Learning how to clean, to cook, to take care of kids and babies. Having time to play is learning, making up games is learning. Baking is learning. Climbing trees is learning. Having siblings and learning how to get along with each other and take care of things when there’s disagreements and fights is learning. I don’t see learning as just a book and paper and pen. I see it as living your life, learning skills this is how we learn. I like that I get to be in charge of what my kids are learning, and if I feel like we are missing an area I can get curriculum or books to supplement that area, or we can travel, or we can go to the library and get books about it. It’s really about the lifestyle and how we live our life. It’s not so much about schooling, but about living.
   

5. I love the freedom and flexibility our days have. Some days we plan things that we do, and other days, we can out of the blue jump in the car and go play pickleball or go to the park. Not so much in the winter, but when there’s beautiful days outside, we can just pick up and go. No having to wait for kids, no having to get them on and off buses, we just go. One of my biggest values is freedom, if you can’t tell from this episode, and having the freedom to spend our days as we wish. I often feel so lucky that I get to choose how I want to spend every day. Obviously this is within the bounds of my kids, but I get to decide if today we just chill, or we bake, or we read, or we go somewhere. And having that freedom is something I love.

So there’s a few reasons why I homeschool. It’s just a part of me and how I like our family to operate. I’m mostly in charge of the homeschool deals and process, though Justin will do things with the kids as part of life. For example when we drive somewhere he will often do math problems with kids, or ask them questions, or whatever he does just in his interactions with them.

I’m curious, do you homeschool? Are you interested in homeschooling? Do you send your kids to school? Send me a DM on Instagram and let me know if this episode was interesting or helpful for you in any way!

If you want to learn more about how you can clear anxiety more automatically by rewiring how the mind is working and processing things, go to my website www.meganhillukka.com where you can click on a link to register for my free training, where I will show you what you need in order to do this.

327: Should I Take Medication For My Anxiety?

327: Should I Take Medication For My Anxiety?

Megan Hillukka

327: Should I Take Medication For My Anxiety?

Welcome to the Joyful Mom Podcast!

“If I just find the right medication, then I’ll finally feel okay…” Does that thought sound familiar?

Obviously I’m not a doctor. So I’m not giving medical advice. And I would never, ever say you should stop taking your medication, or that it’s bad for you to take medication.

There is a time and place for medication, and especially if you can’t function and medication helps, use it. So many moms struggling with anxiety feel stuck in this cycle—believing that medication is their only option, yet still feeling like something is missing.

Today, we’re having an honest conversation about anxiety medication—what it can do, what it can’t do, and why healing anxiety at the root goes far beyond a prescription.

By the end of this episode, you’ll understand:

• Why medication alone isn’t the solution to healing anxiety.

• The real reason anxiety keeps coming back, even on medication.

• What you can do to actually heal at the root and find lasting peace.

The truth is, medication doesn’t fix anxiety—it only manages symptoms.

Healing anxiety at the root through subconscious reprogramming is the fastest, most effective way to experience true freedom. Medication is just a numbing source. The truth is, addressing anxiety with medication often merely alleviates symptoms rather than tackling the underlying issues. To truly heal anxiety, you need to identify and eliminate the root causes, which often lie in the unconscious mind, where your emotional triggers originate.

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Let’s talk about some of the myths surrounding anxiety and medication

Myth #1: “I have a chemical imbalance, so I need medication.”

• This is one of the most widely accepted beliefs, but science has never actually proven that anxiety is caused by a “chemical imbalance.”

• Anxiety isn’t something that happens to you because your brain is broken—it’s a learned pattern, a response to trauma, stress, and subconscious beliefs that are keeping you stuck. Anxiety is not because of a chemical imbalance, but because of stored data that keeps the subconscious mind reading things as threatening and dangerous that are not threatening and dangerous. And no amount of medication is going to get the subconscious mind to change that data.

• Medication may alter brain chemistry temporarily, but it doesn’t address the subconscious wiring that created the anxiety in the first place. Like I said above, it will not touch the data and the way the subconscious mind is reading all the stored information that it keeps filtering out threats and dangers for you.

Myth #2: “Medication will make my anxiety go away.”

• Medication can numb the intensity of anxiety, but it doesn’t actually make it disappear. Something that people say over and over again when they are on medication, is they still feel anxiety. They are still anxious. And they use it to manage the anxiety. So medication doesn't’ take the anxiety away, it just kind of numbs it a bit and makes it tolerable. 

• Many moms find themselves needing higher doses over time, switching medications, or feeling like they’re still struggling—just in a slightly more manageable way.

• Imagine if instead of just coping with anxiety, you could actually rewire your brain so anxiety didn’t control your life anymore.

Myth #3: “If I stop taking medication, my anxiety will come back worse.”

• If you don’t address the root cause, then yes—stopping medication might make anxiety feel even stronger.

• This is because the subconscious patterns that create anxiety are still there, waiting to surface the moment medication is removed.

• But when you heal the root cause, anxiety doesn’t have a reason to “come back.”

1. Rewire the subconscious mind. Anxiety is a learned response, which means it can be unlearned.

2. Clear out stored trauma and old belief patterns. Your brain is holding onto past experiences that keep triggering anxiety. Releasing them creates freedom.

3. Retrain your nervous system. Your body has been stuck in survival mode. Healing allows it to return to a natural state of calm.

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• If you’re tired of feeling like you need medication to function but still don’t feel free, there’s another way.

• I’m hosting a free class where I’ll walk you through exactly how to heal anxiety at the root level—so you don’t have to spend your life just managing it.
  
  If you want to learn more about how you can clear anxiety more automatically by rewiring how the mind is working and processing things, go to my website www.meganhillukka.com where you can click on a link to register for my free training, where I will show you what you need in order to do this.

326: How Bending a Spoon Taught Me to Surrender

326: How Bending a Spoon Taught Me to Surrender

Megan Hillukka

326: How bending a spoon taught to surrender

Welcome to the Joyful Mom Podcast!

This may sound like a very weird podcast title. And it might be a weird or interesting episode. I’m going to share an experience I’ve had with spoon bending, and how it created my word for the year of surrender. 

I don’t know if you do a word of the year, but I love doing this word of the year, and each January I pick a word that’s my focus for the year. Last year my word was focus, this year my word is surrender.

So- spoon bending, what is it, and why am I even talking about it!

I went to a business conference where we did a spoon bending exercise. The first time I did it- I learned so much about myself during the process. I want to share my experience with both of these spoon bending times because I learned something new from each of them.

But first the spoon bending is weird, and it’s quite crazy, but it’s all about taking a metal spoon that you cannot bend, and then doing a meditation and feeling the energy in the spoon so that it gets more flexible and so you can bend it whichever way you want to. I know it sounds crazy, but I’ve seen so many bent spoons bent into twisted up pieces and such, that it actually happens.

The first time I did it, I found that through meditation when it came time to bend my spoon, I could feel the spoon soften in my hands so I knew if I could bend it, my heart would start to pound. And then I couldn’t bend the spoon because I was so fearful. And I was afraid my spoon would actually bend. I went back and forth to this surrendering place, and then tried to bend the spoon and my heart would pound. I ended up bending the spoon twice back and forth, and what was so funny about it to me, was that I didn’t trust that I actually did it.

So I was bringing my spoon home to Justin, to ask him, did I actually bend this, or is the spoon just really bendable?

Here’s why this spoon bending exercise is so incredible. Because it’s a business workshop- we focused on what's going on in our minds that is preventing us from taking action or doing the things we need to do in our business, or what’s holding us back. 

It was so interesting hearing other peoples experiences with this as well, because there were people who wanted so badly to bend the spoon, and then because they wanted to so badly, they couldn’t bend the spoon. And people who were almost angry because they wanted to bend the spoon.

And what I realized in this, I actually didn’t have this like I am going to bend the spoon, I want to bend the spoon, I found that my heart was pounding afraid I would actually bend the spoon. And how this correlates to the business conference and the work I was doing was that I was terrified of success. If you were to logically say that, it wouldn’t make sense, like of course everyone would want success, especially if they are putting their time, energy and heart into a business. But I found that I was actually afraid of success. And I found that to be true as I noticed that when my business did really well, I would start to get afraid. I talk all the time about the subconscious mind and how we don’t always know what’s in our subconscious mind, and how it can not be aligned with our conscious mind. Like I can consciously say yes I want to be successful, but my subconscious mind is terrified of success, so everytime my business is doing well, I subconsciously make changes, do something different, to shift it because of that fear.

And then- I would also question anything that happened. If I had a good month, I would question how that happened, or if that really happened, or if that could happen again. In the same way with the spoon I questioned whether I actually bent it. I was wanting to ask Justin for him to prove to me that yes in fact I did bend the spoon- oh I didn’t say earlier, that I lost the spoon in my travels on my way home, so I never got to prove it to myself.

So clearing this fear was super helpful for me last year.

And then- this year at the conference with the spoon bending exercise, I knew I could bend the spoon. I've done it before, but last year because I only bent it twice and they were simple bends, I questioned it. I just forced it rather than bent the spoon. Like anyone could have just done that.

So this year, one thing that stood out to me was when the facilitator was doing the meditation, she talked about holding a baby bird in your hand. How you can’t clutch the bird, because you would hurt it, but you also can’t be too loose otherwise it will hop out. And how when you are holding a baby bird, you’re doing it gently but firmly.

And this vision of this made it so crystal clear to me of surrender. What does it mean to surrender? There’s been times in our lives when I have been in this complete surrender phase, and it feels so good.

Like when we were traveling in our school bus and we were planning on moving to mn in the fall, and we had no idea where we were going to live in mn, if we were going to rent or buy, if anything would be available for us. Nothing. And people would ask us, you don’t know where you’re going to live? You don’t know if you’re going to buy it? Like we were crazy. I guess I knew if there were no other option I could just stay in the bus and go south for the winter. But I just had this place of trust and surrender. That everything would work out. That God is in control of our lives, and whatever is meant to happen will. We were obviously taking steps towards whatever options, but when I would be grounded in this feeling of surrender, or maybe you can call it trust, I just knew that whatever happened was supposed to happen for us, and it was all going to work out exactly as it was supposed to. And it ended up working out well, we got a house, went and looked at houses for 1 day and bought a house and have been in it for over a year now.

But- going back to this spoon bending. This feeling of surrender- like I don't really care if I bend the spoon or not. Either way, it’s going to be fine, but I’m also going to try and see what happens. And I spun and twisted my spoon many times over and over again, so there’s no way I can question if I bent the spoon. There’s no way I could have just forced bending the spoon like that even if I wanted to.

So- I came to my word for the year, surrender. Because of how good it feels in my body to surrender. To give it to God. That he’s in control of my life, my business, my family, everything. We can make plans, I definitely have goals and dreams, and I work really hard towards things, but with this feeling of holding a little bird in my hand, not clutching to anything, not attached to how I think it should go or how it’s supposed to go, but it’s going to go exactly as it’s supposed to.

It’s a beautiful feeling for me…to take action as I can, but also let it be how it is.

The spoon bending may sound weird, but it definitely brings to the surface the stuff that’s going on inside of your mind that’s holding you back or helps you realize different things that can be really useful.

As the facilitator said many times, it’s not even about bending the spoon, but what the process does for you.

I’m not sure why I shared this with you, except that I wanted to share, and maybe it’s interesting to you, maybe not. Maybe the takeaway is number one how powerful our subconscious mind is, and also, where can you surrender in your life? Where have you been clutching so hard on to something, where you are hurting the bird? Where can you let go, or release some attachment or resistance to something.

There’s a huge difference between desiring something with a surrendered feeling, vs. desiring something with a clutching feeling.

And it feels so much better to be in a feeling of surrender.

What do you think?

If you want to learn more about how you can clear anxiety more automatically by rewiring how the mind is working and processing things, go to my website www.meganhillukka.com where you can click on a link to register for my free training, where I will show you what you need in order to do this.