I want a place where a mom who wants to move from surviving to living and then thriving can come and begin to take those steps.

It's not a choice. Do lean in, and ask a few questions. Employers have to ask what their employee needs. It doesn't have to be big. Sometimes it's just acknowledging the loss and giving some space for the employee to navigate work a little differently.

While friends and family can be good listeners and sometimes good helpers, a good coach or therapist should be assisting you with moving forward, guiding you through processing emotions, giving you tools to cope, and assisting you in learning how to live after your child dies.

You're all here because you felt a lot of pain. You have had a lot of pain and grief, and it can seem like the pain will never end. There's no hope. I know, I felt that in the beginning. You can't always be in grief. It's exhausting. You need a break sometimes. Give yourself a break when it comes.

My friend. This is not the end of your story. If you find yourself in a pity party, which I find myself in from time to time, let yourself sit in it for a bit, but then drag yourself out. Sitting in a pity party will get you nowhere. Looking at others and thinking it’s easier for them than it is for you will get you nowhere. It won’t. Because it’s not easier for them, they have their own trials and you have yours. You only know what yours are, and you can only live your own life.

I would love for all of you to experience going to bed and not being afraid to sleep. You fall easily to sleep and you rest peacefully at night. You wake up and you feel rested. Then you realize that the anxiety, the fear, and the worry about sleep are completely gone.

Just because your child dies, doesn’t give you a free pass from other things happening. It seems like it should, but for some reason, crap can still happen. Hard things can still happen. I had this thought after Aria died that nothing more can happen because I’ve been through the worst. But the truth is, bad things can continue to happen. Not only do they continue to happen, but if they keep happening over and over again, you can start to feel really weighed down and like you just want to give up.

I wanted to share this all with you, for one, to understand more about what is happening in your body if you’re experiencing this kind of this, but also for you to know that it’s not that you aren’t trying hard enough or not relaxing enough.

There’s nothing you can do logically to calm your body down when your mind is continuing to perceive a threat. So it’s not that you aren’t thinking good enough or aren’t doing enough, it’s just this little spot in your processor that’s got a little bit of a fuzzy read on the situation. It’s jammed. And when you clear that, your body no longer needs to be on alert and jumping at every situation.