142: Visualization as a Grief Tool
This is a tool that I’ve used for helping me feel and experience something I want to feel and experience on purpose.
I’ve used visualization to imagine what it would feel like to drive down our driveway in our skoolie months before we actually did it. Do you know what’s beautiful about visualization? You get to live it now, instead of waiting for it someday down the road in the future? I got to feel the joy of driving down the driveway finally many many times before it actually happened.
So, there’s another way I want to offer visualization to you to help you on your grief journey.
I want to say first, that I don’t think this would be helpful with traumatic images, or PTSD symptoms, so always do something only if it feels right for you, and listen to your body. You are the expert in yourself, so please listen to yourself. Everything I say is like an invitation for you to explore and see what works for you. Nothing is right for everyone, and not everything is going to work for you.
That being said, let’s talk about visualization for preparing yourself for difficult things in the future.
Let’s take something that you are dreading in the future. Something that you are worrying about, something that you maybe fear is going to make things worse.
Sit down, and allow yourself to visualize that day. Visualize yourself going through that day, what’s happening, where are you going, and notice what emotions come up for you? You get the gift of processing these emotions in advance. You can allow yourself to sit with those emotions. You can tap on them, you can just feel them, allow them to flow through you.
What this does for you, is allows you to live that day now, process emotions. Instead of living the days beforehand with anxiety, dread, and unsure of how the day is going to go.
Sometimes when we dread something, I’ve had this working with a mom, she was dreading her birthday, and so she was telling herself not to worry about it, so she would just push it out of her mind and pretend like it wasn’t there, except when I asked her if she was still anxious about it, she was.
Pretending that you aren’t feeling it, doesn’t actually make it go away. Not thinking about it doesn’t mean it’s not underlying in your body. Pushing the anxiety away doesn’t mean you aren’t anxious anymore.
When you can process and sit with the day that you are dreading, you get to release those emotions that are underneath instead of waiting on pins and needles for that day to come so you can finally know if you are going to feel those emotions. This helps to let the steam out of a pressure cooker. Don’t keep it all bottled ino. By practicing this it allows you to know that you can do anything. You can handle any emotion that comes up. Even though it’s not always fun and pretty painful sometimes, you can do this. You can experience and allow emotions to flow through you.
So- after you do that kind of visualization where you allow yourself to be there. Allow yourself to sit in the river of misery. Allow yourself to sit in the muck. It’s ok to be there for a bit. But when you do allow yourself to sit there, have a way to help yourself out. You can listen to a gratitude meditation or do positive affirmations with tapping, you can ground yourself by connecting with your body and feeling calm in it. I have all these resources inside of Grieving Moms Haven, but you can figure out a way to do them yourself as well.
You can also do a visualization about how you want to feel. How do you want to feel that day? What do you want to do that day? And notice the emotion. Practice that feeling on purpose. Practice the thoughts you want to think on purpose.
This may seem silly to you, but I really believe emotions are so important. Bring the ones you want to feel at the forefront of your mind, after you also allow space and release of emotions and thoughts that are coming up.
I would also offer, that to go through the situation of what you are afraid of maybe only once, just to know what it’s like, and then do the visualization of how you want to feel, how you want to show up, what you want to do that day, do that one, focusing more on how you truly want to show up.
If you try this, let me know what you think. I always love hearing from you, message me on Instagram at cultivatedfamily. I know it can seem a bit odd, but I love giving you little odd things to try to see if they help you on your own unique grief journey.
See you next week!
If you like this podcast, and found it helpful, I want to invite you come check out Grieving Moms Haven, my monthly community for Grieving moms, where you can learn positive coping mechanisms, find a safe space with others who understand, and learn life long skills that support you as you learn how to carry this weight of grief in your life.
There are group coaching calls where we do guided meditations, tapping meditations, breathwork, and just talk, knowing that everyone in the group is also walking the path of child loss
You can come check out Grieving Moms Haven at www.grievingmomshaven.com
