304: 5 Ways to Calm Overwhelm
As a mom, it can be completely normal to get overwhelmed. If you’re a mom like me with many children, I have 8, then you might find your days super busy and chaotic most of the time. And if you don’t have as many children, I’m sure you still find yourself completely overwhelmed at times as well.
I rarely feel overwhelmed in my life, while I’m running my business, taking care of my household, homeschooling my kids, managing appointments, socializing, getting my exercise, whatever I am doing. I have a lot going on in my life. And I’m very rarely overwhelmed. It really has not always been this way, and I’m going to share with you some tips I’ve learned along the way so you too can experience less overwhelm.
I used to look at my calendar, and see all the things on my calendar, and then I was completely stressed for my week. I saw all the things I needed to do, and that I was going to do, even if a lot of them were things for fun, I would immediately get overwhelmed. Here’s what I’ve learned from RRT that’s a piece that has completely changed the way I look at things like my week and what needs to get done.
When I used to look at my week all at once, my mind saw that as all the things I needed to do right now. Because the mind only knows right now, it was trying to get me to do all the things at the same time. It doesn’t know that it’s spread out over a week, that one thing gets done a time. And so instead of looking at my whole week at once and seeing all I need to have done right now. I just focus on the next thing on my calendar or day. Can I put the laundry going right now? Yes. Okay next, can I do this coaching call, Yes. Okay, can I outline 4 podcast episodes, yes. And when you break it down into little pieces, you no longer get overwhelmed because you’re not looking at everything at once. Keep your mind focused on the next thing there is to do, instead of looking at it all at once.
Let’s take an example like this house is a mess, and all you see is the work that needs to be done in the house, and you have a baby or two that’s crying, and you can’t get around to any cleaning…you might get completely overwhelmed. Let’s break it up. First off, nothing needs to get done right now. Does the laundry need to be put away right now? No. Does the dishes need to be done right now? No. Does the floors need to be cleaned right now? No.
But then, as you look at what you would like to get done and babies crying, it’s more about, what’s the next thing that’s good to have done? Okay, care for my crying baby. Once they are settled, what’s the next thing I would like to get done, do the dishes. Okay. and while you are doing the dishes, you aren’t thinking about the laundry and the toys on the floor and the supper you need to make. You are just doing the dishes, because that’s what there is to do right now.
And then, when you are making supper you are doing that.
Bring your lens to just what’s right in front of you, because that’s the only thing you can do right now.
Another thing to think about from this RRT lens that I’ve learned is that another reason you might feel overwhelmed is when you are learning something new. When you don’t know how it all works yet and don’t understand it all, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed. This is just a part of the process of learning- so notice if you find yourself feeling that ever when you are learning something new…this is a good thing, because it means you are learning!
I don’t always do this, but it makes my days much easier when I do. I meal plan in advance, and plan out my grocery list. I currently haven’t meal planned, so again, everything I share is reminders to me and also, I’m not perfect at this, but I’ve found when I do this is makes my life so much easier.
I’ll sit down, look at my cupboard, makes a list of ingredients in my cupboard, make my meal list to try use up things in my cupboard, and then I’ve been using recently walmart pick up, again I went on a instacart boycott, I always go back and forth, anyways I’m using walmart pick up, and I’ll schedule my groceries, and I have my meal list in my phone.
It makes my weeks so much easier when I know what I’m making, have the meats and all ingredients on hand. And then when it’s time to make supper I know what to do, or I get prepped in the morning.
Another thing I do that helps majorly, again, when I do it, is prep some foods in advance. For example, when I get my veggies, I immediately dice, chop and put them in containers for what I’m planning on doing with them the rest of the week. Number one, I noly have to do it once, then when again I come to making the meals it’s mostly already done so it’s actually really easy.
It’s also easier to eat a lot healthier when all the healthier options are all cut up and ready to go. Examples of things I will do is make a container of diced veggies for eggs, like cut up broccoli, onion, peppers, zucchini, or whatever veggies I have that would go good in eggs.
Then, I will slice of veggies for my kids to eat and put them in a container.. These usually don’t last that long, but anytime they are hungry they can eat from here.
Everything doesn’t need to be perfect. My house doens’t need to be perfect. My kids don’t need to look perfect. My lawn doesn’t need to look perfect. I love when my house is clean, I love when my kids look nice and are well groomed and scrubbed. I love when my lawn looks like. But. It doesn’t need to be perfect either. Looking at what your priorities are will help you with this. If having a perfect lawn, perfect house, and perfect kids, are high on your list, then notice, that there’s not much room for anything else and be okay with that.
I realized recently when I took a look at my priorities, I realized having a clean and perfect house is not on the top of my list. I’m going to be with my kids, go do fun things, and work in my business before I worry too much about the house. That is, until company comes over, and then it’s fast cleaning mode for the win!
Something that kind of goes along with this, what kind of standards have you set for yourself, and are they your standards? Or are they standards you’ve learned from your family? Are they standards you’ve learned from someone else that you feel like you need to fulfill? Do they actually matter? If they do, then totally fine, but at least take a moment to notice if they don’t anymore.
Last but not least, I’ve been paying attention to perspective lately. What perspective are you looking through and what lens are you looking through in your life? There is a time when I have been cutting carrots and very grumpy and stressed with all I have to do, because I HAVE to do all these things, and also, if I change my perspective and put a different lens on, I can look through this like this, I get to cut carrots for my family. I’m so grateful I get to serve my family in this way. I get to take care of my house. I get to take care of my kids. What a blessing to be able to serve my family in this way.
It’s amazing how much of a perspective shift can happen when it’s the same exact action but just different thoughts and thus a different experience about it. If you’re feeling super overwhelmed, notice what thoughts are coming up, and see if anything can be shifted so that you can and do enjoy this process and this experience for yourself.
What I’ve found the most amazing thing to do, is just to talk to other people. Listen for their perspective, their lens that they have on the world. If someone isn’t struggling with what you are, how are they thinking about it, that makes it easier for them. How can you adopt that lens, or borrow those thoughts, or perspective? There are so many times I would have never thought of something a certain way and then I chat with someone and they share how they are thinking about it and it’s like my mind is blown, because It was such a new idea and perspective shift for me and it changed so much. So be open to hearing how other people experience life and if it could be something of value for you.
There you have it, 5 things that can calm overwhelm, just start with one thing, test it out and see if it works for you. That’s how we all figure out what works for us or not, is just test or trying things out.
If you want to learn more about how you can clear overwhelm more automatically by rewiring how the mind is working and processing things, go to my website www.meganhillukka.com where you can click on a link to register for my free training, where I will show you what you need in order to do this.
