“Who Am I?” is one of the sections of my Life After Child Loss Program. It is a part of my C.A.R.R.Y.ing Grief Framework where the Y stands for You and learning to love yourself again.
3 Parts of Who Am I?:
1. Who Was I?
The person we were, died the day our child died. You cannot continue to be the person you were when you experience the death of your child. You are forever changed.
The people in our lives have to grieve the loss of you as you were, and you also have to grieve that person.
Take time to grieve who you were. Notice what were your strengths and weaknesses before your child died, because those are often magnified afterward.
2. Who You Are Now?
You might feel that you are in a place of limbo, a no man’s land. Your world has turned upside down, and you hate who you have become.
You do not need to do this all alone. Find help and support and reach out to those you love to help you as well.
Notice how you can begin to help yourself, giving yourself compassion, and then taking little steps forward to help yourself process the grief and pain you are experiencing. Learning why you are the way you are, without judgment.
Recognize that your grief journey is your own, and you do not need to compare it to anyone else's experience.
Give yourself the permission to grieve in your own way that gets you to where you want to go.
3. Who Do You Want To Be?
It’s so hard to think about the future without your child by your side. If you believe so deeply that you are not deserving of a beautiful life because your child can’t live anyone, then it can be an incredibly difficult thing to think about.
If you don’t take a moment to think about where you want to go in your life or who you want to become, you will just keep plodding away and wake up one day and realize that 10 years have gone by in your life and nothing has changed.
Looking at who you want to be, gives you a goal post. Setting the goal post ahead of you gives you a direction to go and an idea of the steps you want to take.
Start taking the little steps now towards that person, so that you will be that person because you are beginning to think like that person and becoming that person.
Diving into this question “Who Am I? is a very personal one. One of exploration, learning, and being super honest with yourself. You cannot dive into this question without being honest with yourself which can be so hard to do! You go this, my friend.
For the announcement of my 100th Podcast Episode + Birthday Giveaway, go to Grieving Moms Coaching and Community FB Page. FB live will happen at 2 pm CST.
Struggling with the emotions of anger, guilt, sadness, and anxiety after the death of your child? Come join me and other grieving mothers in a 3-day workshop, Relief in Grief to help you learn how to process the emotions and thoughts that come with grief. This will be on July 14th, 15th, and 16th. You do not need to do this alone, get on the waitlist at www.reliefingriefsupportgroup.com
If you are a grieving mother and looking for others who know the pain of child loss, come join my free Grieving Moms Community Facebook group: www.meganhillukka.com/community
