301: Changing Your Situation
I can’t believe this is episode 301. I thought about doing something big for episode 300, but then I never got to it, and the episodes just keep rolling, so maybe for episode 400 I will do something big! If you’ve been listening to this show for a while, thank you so much for being here, for listening in! It’s a joy to be able to share with you, and do this podcast so you can listen in and learn and hear other peoples stories as well!
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Okay, so today we are talking about how to change your situation.
And it’s not going to be how it sounds like. Because so many people come to me and say something like, well I have this health struggle, or my husband is a certain way, or I have a lot of kids, or my kids are really stressful, let’s just fill in the blank with whatever it is, whatever reason it is as to why there is no possible way that you can’t be stressed, anxious, or traumatized.
We always want to find the reason for why it makes sense that we are stressed, anxious, or whatever. And if we have a reason, and if it makes sense, it feels a little better. And then if you don’t have a reason or anything why it can be super confusing. Except it’s not confusing at all if you look at it from this way that I’m going to share today.
Let’s say for trauma, for example my story with my daughter Aria dying, when I say that I have no trauma from her death today when I used to be pretty much not able to function and care for my kids the way I wanted to, people will say things like that doesn’t sound right, or that’s impossible, because your daughter died, you should be traumatized the rest of your life.
It makes sense to people that I would be traumatized, and because trauma has been so difficult to heal up until now, people assume I would be traumatized the rest of my life, and it sounds weird to say I have no symptoms from her death in terms of trauma anymore.
And so, I want to shine light on the stories we have or the way we view our situation and our perspective of our situation, and how it can keep us stuck in that way without even realizing it.
For example, if I were to believe, that my daughter died, and I was traumatized, thus this is just how much life is now, and didn’t seek for support and help and healing, I would continue to be in that space of stuckness, and trauma.
And sometimes people will say, will my situation can’t change. I can’t change my kids. I can’t change my husband. I can’t change my life circumstances, thus, I just have to accept that I’m stressed out, anxious, and traumatized.
And I want to ask you, is that really true? That’s the first question- could something change? Are there changes you could make? And if not, because there are very many real situations where whatever you are dealing with can’t change. And so here’s why there’s hope for you.
I’m going to share why, your situation doesn’t need to change at all, and you can have a completely different experience of the situation. Because it’s not the situation that’s causing the anxiety, trigger, or stress at all.
This was mind-blowing to me, and if you get this, it will be to you too. It’s not the situation at all.
If a guy stepped on a nail and he was screaming in pain, and I asked you, why is that guy screaming in pain, you would probably look at me funny, because it’s obvious if he stepped on a nail he is probably going to be screaming in pain.
But if that same guy had stepped on a nail, but then saw his child going to go run out in the street in front of a car, do you think he would even notice the nail anymore?
He probably wouldn’t even notice the nail at all. Now he’s focused on running to get his child.
Can you see when I share this, that it’s not the situation that’s happening, but it’s the way the mind is processing the information about what’s happening. And when the mind processes something as a threat, as dangerous, or tries to process everything all at one time it becomes overwhelming.
So, your situation doesn’t have to change at all, for you to have a completely different experience of the same situation. Let’s take an example from my life, I’ve actually thought of this often as I’ve gone about my daily life.
Before I had RRT, I was overwhelmed and stressed a lot. Kids crying, kitchen needs to be cleaned, diapers need to be changed, all the things. My situation hasn’t changed, though I do have more helpers, however, kids are still crying, diapers need to be changed, kitchen needs to be cleaned, and I’m very rarely overwhelmed or stressed. My situation hasn’t changed, but the way my mind thinks about and processes what’s going on has changed.
So my mind isn’t processing it as something that needs to be stressful. Everything is just much more clear in my mind, focused, I focus on what I’m doing in this moment, and my experience of my daily life is so much better, more fun, easeful, and more joyful because of this.
Let’s take an example like a new driver, maybe you think you have to be anxious because you have a new driver in the house. You have new driver regardless, yes? They are going to be driving, and is it going to be more helpful for everyone if you’re anxious or not anxious?
And I already hear you saying I can’t help it, I can’t help being anxious. I know. It’s completely normal, and if you want, you can use RRT to assist you so that your mind no longer processes this data of new driver as something that you need to be anxious about. Because the anxiety is not helping the situation at all, and it’s only causing you a lot of unneeded turmoil.
So- your situation doesn’t have to change at all. What you are experiencing doesn’t need to change, and you can have a completely different more easeful, light experience of your life.
What would it look like, to have a new driver, to be more interested in helping if they need help, to communicate with them, to enjoy your evenings and days when they are not home and you know they are driving? If it’s been something that has caused a lot of stress or turmoil, it would be amazing if it just wasn’t something you worried about.
If you want to learn more about RRT, how to work with me, and change the way your mind processes information so all the things that have been experienced as super stressful or triggering, are not so much anymore.
Come watch my free training, you can go to my website www.meganhillukka.com and you will see a pink button to go register for my free training where I will show you a video of me working with someone, so you can see what this looks like.
Until next week, take care!
Have you been experiencing anxiety and triggers?
The racing mind, unable to sleep, waiting for the next bad thing to happen, unable to breathe, panicky kind of anxiety, whole body riddled with anxiety?
I did too after my daughter died, and I no longer have anxiety or trauma…
Watch my free training to learn more about how it’s possible for you too!
