309: The Role of a Mother
Welcome to the Joyful Mom Podcast!
The title may be a little misleading, as I’m not going to get deep into the role of a mother, I do think it depends on each person, and personality, and family. But there is a part of the role of a mother that I want to focus on today.
It has to do with feminine and masculine energy, and how the role of a mother affects the whole household. There’s a reason there’s the saying, a happy wife makes a happy life.
Your energy matters. Your mood matters. Your mental health matters. Your emotional health matters. As the mother, you steer the ship in the mental and emotional health things.
I have gotten very frustrated with this idea. When I'm tired and at my wits end, I don’t want to be the one who is guiding the family. I don’t want to be the one setting the tone of my home. I wish it could be someone else. I wish someone else would have this very large responsibility of creating the safety and peace and the environment in my home that I want, but that sometimes feels difficult to get to.
There’s also been multiple accounts of how any successful man has a woman at home who is supporting him.
I get it, in this day maybe you have a little bit of like, moms and dads should both be helping out. I completely agree. And. I also think there’s this beautiful distinction between men and women, and our roles in our families, and how women do affect the household with their emotional and mental health. Not saying men don’t either, however I’m focusing on the mothers here.
I actually had to look this up as well, just for studies sake, because I wanted to back up this idea that a mothers mental and emotional health is pivotal for the stability of her family and home.
When I started looking for studies, they are everywhere, of how mothers anxiety can affect her kids, the study Study: The Intergenerational Transmission of Anxiety (Beidel & Turner, 1997)
Found that maternal anxiety increases the risk of anxiety in her children.
A different study Study: The Impact of Maternal Sensitivity and Emotional Availability on Child Well-Being (Sroufe, 2005) found that “The quality of a mother's emotional connection with her child is crucial for healthy emotional and psychological development. Consistent emotional attunement is linked to better self-regulation and emotional intelligence in children”
I share this, because as moms we often put ourselves last. We give and we give and we give until there’s nothing left to give and we snap. And I’m telling you, the most loving thing you can do for your family, your children, your home, is to take care of your emotional and mental health. The impact this has on your children far outweighs any toys you buy, or a clean house, or homemade food. Obviously all of these are good things, but I would argue that your mental and emotional health is one of the most valuable things to take care of as you are raising your family.
So, when it comes to a mothers mood, feelings, all those things, I think of it almost like we set the emotional and energetic thermometer of the house. Have you ever noticed, that if you’re crabby, or short, or something, your kids don’t get easier, they usually get crabby, start fighting more. At least that’s been my experience. And then, if I do something to shift the energy or mood, like shift my mood, and then do something to shift the mood of the house, it can change so quickly.
I want to touch on feminine energy a little bit. I don’t claim to be an expert in it at all, but as mothers we embody the feminine energy. Feminine energy is often described as a nurturing, receptive, and intuitive force that contrasts with the action-oriented, analytical, and assertive qualities traditionally associated with masculine energy. While both energies exist in everyone regardless of gender, feminine energy emphasizes connection, creativity, and flow. And motherhood is like the epitome of that.
And when we lean into our intuition in motherhood, and when you care for your own emotions and mental health, then you have more access to that intuition without your mind being so clouded with worry and fears and stresses.
So- all this to say…you are the queen of your house my friend. I have a friend who brought some gifts to a homeschool get together. And one thing she gave us all was a crown. And I don’t remember exactly what she said, but it was something to the effect of, when I have tough days, I remember I’m the daughter of a King, and the Queen of my house.
Maybe I got that all wrong, but your role is very important in your family. You are very important. Even if sometimes you feel like you are failing, or doing it wrong, or messing up, or not good enough. You matter. You are the queen, and your kids want you to take care of you my friend.
Okay, that’s all I have today, see you next week!
If you want to learn more about how you can clear overwhelm more automatically by rewiring how the mind is working and processing things, go to my website www.meganhillukka.com where you can click on a link to register for my free training, where I will show you what you need in order to do this.
