310: 5 Things I’m Doing in a Really Tough Season
Welcome to the Joyful Mom Podcast!
At the beginning of the year, Justin and I sat down, and had a planning meeting to dream about our year this year. We dreamed, we scheduled, we wrote, and it was so so fun. Little did we know that all our dreaming and planning for this in particular would basically all be turned on its head just a little while later and our life looks nothing like we thought it would at the beginning of the year. It’s been good things and changes, but this year has been incredibly hard.
We’ve been so blessed, and this past year has probably been one of the hardest years in a long time. Especially coming off of the last few years that were so so good. We were literally living our dreams, and then this year has been so challenging. It’s been challenging for our marriage, it’s been challenging for me, and it’s been challenging for Justin. I don’t think the kids have felt it’s challenging, but who knows.
Anyways. I wanted to share some things I’m doing when the season is very hard…yes it’s a season, and I know it is. I don’t know when the season of hardness will end, but I’ve definitely had more darkness in my mind and a heaviness in my life, and it’s season, but a tough one…that I’m definitely ready for it to be over.
However, since I don’t necessarily have to necessarily choose when it’s over, here are some things I’m doing to make it easier on myself.
Doing things I love to do. For me, these are usually sports things, in particular volleyball and pickleball. I absolutely love playing both of those. But getting outside, or somewhere and being able to run and move and laugh. Filling my days with things I love to do even though life in general has been pretty difficult, helps make the days lighter. It can be hard as a mom to get out on your own, or prioritize fun for yourself, but seriously it’s so worth it. I got a gym membership for a few months so I could go to the gym and put the kids in daycare. They also had a hot tub and a sauna which was a major plus for me to just chill.
Taking care of my mind. This is probably actually number one for me. Because everything starts within the mind. So I have things that I do every day to care for my mental health and my mind. Keeping my mind clear is a high priority for me. Because I’ve definitely noticed, when I let that slip, or go a while without keeping space for this, things start to spiral or get a lot harder within my own mind. Things I do are different clearings and processes I have in Cleared. My program, silent meditations and just breathing, gratitude and sitting in gratitude for a while, being aware of triggers and things that make me emotional and either doing something to heal the trigger, or process the emotion. This is by far the most beneficial thing I can do for myself is make sure I’m doing what I can to keep my mental health stable, healthy and balanced. Because when that goes down, everything goes down.
Just letting myself be. Letting myself be crabby for a bit. Letting myself be grumpy for a bit. Not thinking that I shouldn’t be in a hard season because I am, or thinking that I should be doing it differently than I am, because this is how I am doing it. It’s kind of like an acceptance of what it is. Letting myself feel, letting myself be. And of course doing what I can to make it better, but also just being. With the ups and downs of life. Life is not going to be always easy, and this year again is a reminder for me, just like Aria’s death forced me to face that, but this year is a reminder again, that there are ups and downs, and it’s okay. It’s normal for there to be ups and downs…There is a time and season for everything under the sun as the Bible says.
Finding things to laugh about every day. Mainly my kids, I laugh at or with my kids all day long. My mom has always said, if you just sit and watch kids, they are so funny. And they truly are. My kids make me laugh often, whether it’s my baby or my older kids. I love receiving the joy and laughter they bring me in my life. But in other ways too, wherever I can get a laugh, it’s great. My husband and I often laugh together, it feels like it’s probably been less lately because he’s exhausted and I’m exhausted, but laughter is so healing. So finding whatever ways I can to laugh.
And finally, communication with my husband. This is something I think that will always be ongoing in our life and marriage. It’s just a very integral part of marriage, being able to communicate with each other. Like I said earlier, this year has been very challenging on our marriage, and thus there have been times when there is a breakdown in communication, or we misunderstand each other, or we have lots of arguments. But the whole point is to connect, chat, work through, and process through it together. What I’ve found is that one thing I’ve gotten better at, which I can still keep practicing at, is not blaming Justin for everything. When we communicate and talk, how I will share, or try to share what’s going on with me is something like this- this is from a specific memory I have that I’m trying to share about- it was something like this is how I feel, but I’m not blaming you, or that it’s your fault, I know this is my thing I need to process and work through, but this is what I’m dealing with and working through. I wouldn’t say all conversations go like that, and not even like that exactly, but instead of pitting against each other, just sharing honestly what’s going on, with the idea that you are both working together and trying to get on the same page. Communication is seriously everything. So that’s been challenging this year, and something we’ve needed to continue to work on.
There you have it, my 5 things I’m doing in a very challenging year thus far. I will be happy when the clouds lift and there’s a lighter season in our life, but for now, I’m super grateful for the tools and skills I have and have learned that I truly believe make this 100 times easier than it otherwise would be.
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Until next week my friends! Take care
If you want to learn more about how you can clear overwhelm more automatically by rewiring how the mind is working and processing things, go to my website www.meganhillukka.com where you can click on a link to register for my free training, where I will show you what you need in order to do this.
